Intimacy and Forgiveness

Rewrite your story and maintain you relationships

Most of you have more in common with a Hollywood screen writer than you think.  You have an internal script that is a driving force behind your interaction with others. It is your script for how others should act and react in all areas of life.  You believe your script is the best script, the right script.  It needs no rewrites or editing.  This may work in Hollywood, which I doubt, but it definitely does not work in an intimate relationship. The script makes you unnecessarily demanding and insensitive to the flaws of the people you have chosen to love. Your script leaves you little room for others mistakes and has a poor understanding of forgiveness. What makes an intimate relationship so important and special is that you’re willing to endure their bad qualities too.

Becoming aware of your script and the need for many rewrites, may open the door for your partner’s flaws. It may even allow you to forgive the fact that they had childhoods, which wounded them.

It’s guaranteed that you will be hurt by the people you care about.  It is important to recognize what your deal-breaker is. If it’s not a deal-breaker and you want to maintain the relationship, then you have to use skills that repair, fix, and maintain the relationship.

There is one essential tool for this repair to take place and that is forgiveness.  One way to ward off your script and allow forgiveness even when you are hurt is not let yourself off too easy.  If you wand your loved one, want to work on forgiveness in a group setting, join my Los Angeles couples group therapy. You learn from one another. Research shows that overlooking your mistakes can sometimes reduce your empathy for others and your motivation to make amends.