What you are saying without saying it
The Eyes Have It
When it comes to flirting, tempting or teasing your partner, you know that one long, deep look into their eyes can say more than words ever could – “Come here you sexy love muffin.”
The same can be said for the penetrating stare you give your partner when they say something really embarrassing about you in front of a group of friends. – “You’re really in deep doo-doo, mister. Wait until later when we’re alone.”
It’s easy to see how the eyes and our expressions play an important part in how we communicate, but what about those other body parts? What is your body language communicating to your partner?
Hello and Goodbye
In my Los Angeles couples therapy sessions I often ask couples how they communicate.
- How do say goodbye to each other in the morning?
- How do you greet each other at the end of the day?
- How do you say goodnight?
The body language we use with our partners can say a lot, so I have an interest in how couples say hello and goodbye. So, for instance:
If a wife is clutching her hubby’s jacket lapel and laying a big, sexy kiss on him, she’s probably saying that she really doesn’t want him to leave (at least he could be a little late for work); if she is standing with her hands on her hips as her husband is leaving the house in the morning, she could be expressing that she can’t wait for her husband to leave so she can have some alone time; and if she’s holding a rolling pin in her hand, there’s probably something we could be working on in couple’s therapy.
People who have attended my Los Angeles couples therapy sessions have told me that they see how passionate I am about getting couples communicating openly again. It makes me happy to help couples get back on track, and we start that process in the very first session.
Please, Have a Seat
For instance, if you and your partner were attending one of my Los Angeles couples therapy sessions, I might first observe where and how you sit in relation to one another. Are you clutching the chair like you’re riding in a rocket ship or are you relaxed? Are you facing your partner or away from them? How does one of you react when the other one is speaking – are you looking at them or at the floor – or taking selfies (actually, that’s never really happened in any couples therapy session I’ve ever been a part of, but you get my meaning).
In addition to asking questions and listening to answers, as we delve into your couples therapy I’ll often observe how a person’s body reacts as they speak of a tense or tender moment. I’ll also observe their partner’s reaction to what they’re saying. If they’re gritting their teeth or tapping their feet, it tells me that that they’re not too happy.
What your body language is communicating to your partner is very telling to them, but it’s also very telling to me, especially at first when some people might feel cautious about opening up.
In my Los Angeles couples therapy, I’ve experience great success in bringing couples closer together and if you live in the Los Angeles area and you feel that you and your partner could benefit from couples therapy, let’s talk. As I often say, this is my passion and nothing would make me happier than to see you and your partner live a happy life with lots of good body language.