What Makes a Perfect Romantic Relationship?
Keeping it Simple
After years of experience with couples in both my private couples therapy sessions and the group couples therapy workshops in my Los Angeles Psychotherapy office, I’ve learned there are simple things to everyone can try to keep the romance at home, alive. Like a vase full of freshly picked flowers or the Sun setting over the ocean, it’s the simple things that often mean the most to us and bring us the most joy. When it comes to having the perfect romantic relationship, not surprisingly, the same rule applies – there is beauty in simplicity.
If we continue to recognize, appreciate and relive the moments that first brought us together, we can keep love and romance alive. We can have the perfect romantic relationship and it really isn’t as hard as we might think.
Certainly, there are many things we can do to keep love alive and help romance thrive, but I want to share with you what I think are the top 5 things that make for a better romantic relationship.
- Saying “I love you” every day. Three simple, yet important words. You may think that actions speak louder than words, and in most cases that’s true, but saying “I love you” will not only give your partner the “warm and fuzzies,” it will make you feel good just saying it – and hearing it in return.
- Communication. This is key to every romantic relationship. It’s important to be able to communicate your thoughts, ideas and feelings openly with your partner – no secrets, no bottled up emotions or unspoken thoughts. You should both feel free to express yourselves without fear of judgment or even rejection. You may not always agree with one another, but at least you can talk about it.
- Touching. Touching each other is another form of communication. Hugging, holding hands and every other form of touch that occurs between romantic couples is encompassed under the category of “touching.” It’s a way of connecting with your partner in the unspoken sense. It says, “I’m right here with you.”
- Acceptance. No one’s perfect and as human we all come with habits, foibles and quirks that can be … well, annoying sometimes to others. Accept their idiosyncrasies as a part of the sum; they’re part of the person you love – part of the package. Our quirks are what make us unique and your partner’s uniqueness is part of what makes them special. Let your partner feel safe to be themselves with you – quirks and all, so you can expect the same.
- Date Night. We lead busy lives and it’s easy to let the simple things fall by the wayside. Kids, work and every other thing in life can keep us busy, occupied and otherwise obligated. Every couple should set aside a special night that’s just for the two of you. Get out and go on a date together. It’s important and it should be done often.
When it comes to having the perfect romantic relationship, it’s always a work in progress, nevertheless, the best thing to remember is that it’s the simple things that we do or say that often mean the most.