Monthly archives: December, 2014


26747116_s Let’s be honest, our commitment to our New Year’s resolutions is about as solid as our promise to “get together for coffee” with a former colleague we never liked. Unfortunately, we don’t always follow through on our plans during the year. Studies show only 12 percent of us actually keep our New Year’s Resolutions. Apparently, we are doing something wrong — over and over.

So how do we make our dreams a reality? How do we implement all of our plans? How do we move from words to actions? Where should we start?

First, to have the answers to these questions, you need to understand whether or not your chosen goal is truly a dream. Maybe it’s just the desire of your family or a temporary feeling that arose from the suggestion of well-meaning friends. But once you are clear on your dreams and goals, it’s never too late to follow through on them.

I can help you actualize your goals by taking 5 easy steps.

1. Strengthen your sense of urgency-No matter how great the goal is, you need to be motivated to start acting. However, you can’t wait for motivation to just show up. That’s why you must create the necessity for change. Take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of the changes you want to make. Then think about how not acting on your plans will negatively impact your life. Write down everything on paper and don’t forget to set a deadline for achieving your dream. Having a firm date by which you commit to completing your goals will light a fire under you.

2. Take it one step at a time- If you don’t know how to fulfill your resolution right away, that’s okay! You don’t have to have a clue; usually it’s a learn-as-you-go process. The only thing you need to do is ask yourself, “How do I figure out which foot to put forward next?” You move forward one small question at a time.

3. Talk about your resolution– talk about your resolutions, to whoever will listen. One of the most effective ways to get yourself to stick with your goal is to start telling stories about it. The catch is you don’t have a story to tell unless you follow through on your ambition. Saying what you hope to accomplish “some day” gets boring, fast.But, telling people about your wins and setbacks in pursuit of a goal keeps your audience hooked. And once we have people’s interest, we don’t want to lose it.

4. Find new emotions-Perhaps, everyone has experienced this — you start to follow through on your ideas, and then you burn out. The reason for this is that you disconnect from the positive emotions  that inspired you in the first place. The emotions behind the dream or goal are the fuel that propels you to take action and move forward. Without that fuel, you fizzle out. Sometimes you need to manufacture more emotional fuel to re-launch your plans.Envision the most pleasant and exciting aspects of your plans. Then write those down on a paper and stick this paper on the fridge, computer or wherever you can see it regularly. Make a colorful photo collage or dream board. Cut out pictures of your dreams, it may be a dream home, a car, a place to visit, etc.

6. Reward yourself-Every step along the way, celebrate your accomplishments. It’s hard to commit to on-going action and habit change. Remind yourself that you are doing the work necessary to create a better life and reward yourself for your efforts.  List your daily actions toward your goal or habit change. Every time you take action, put a gold star on the day. This sounds remedial — but it is truly very satisfying. Think of some other small rewards you can give yourself each time you finish an action — a piece of chocolate, a 10-minute break to meditate, a walk outside. Be sure you attach positive. reinforcement to every action you achieve

Don’t hesitate, think of some motivation that will help you to move forward and begin to follow through on your plans right now.











Copyright: <a href=’’> / 123RF Stock Photo</a>


Responsibilities are important. When kids develop personal responsibility; it gives them their best chance of avoiding many of the pitfalls of life that await them if they’re not careful. If they’re not aware of what’s going on and ready to take responsible action to deal with it, it makes them less able to deal with problems that surface as they get older. The idea that you are responsible for things is not inborn. Make no bones about it: that realization comes with coaching and training as children develop—it doesn’t just happen by itself. Here are 6 ways to help your children to learn responsibility.

Start Young 
 As early as you can in your child’s life, start having them take responsibility for the things with which they’re involved. You can’t suddenly spring responsibility on a teenager and expect he will know how to follow through. Handing out responsibility to kids needs to start early. Think: Toddler
Show Kids the Way 
Play to a child’s skill level. First, you can demonstrate how to complete small tasks. If your daughter wants a snack, show her where the bananas are and how to peel one and throw away the peel in the trash. Does your daughter always throw her dirty clothes on the floor? Place a hamper in her room and show her where the day-old jeans belong. 
Make responsibilities age-appropriate and even use the word “responsibility,” it sounds grown-up and important!
Model Responsibility 
by doing the task yourself that you are trying to teach and use “we” language. You will need to also do what you are trying to teach so if you don’t make your bed every morning you can’t expect your son to make his. Also by being inclusive allows the kid to be a part of something and quickly develop habits. “Now we put our plate in the sink,” as the meal ends. Use the same inclusive “we” phrases over and over to show how you can easily solve problems.

Praise Them 
Kids love to help. They want to help. To them, chores don’t feel like work. Keep up positive vibes by offering specific praises for actions. “You hung your coat on the hook and I’m proud of you!” Or, “Thank you for emptying the garbage in your room!” 
Children will develop a sense of ownership for any repeated action. And this constant communication helps them take initiative in other situationssuch as at school or on a play date.
Manage Your Expectations 
When you ask a five-year-old to make her bed, it may still be lopsided. Don’t criticize. Recognize a job well done. The next time you make your own bed, show her how you do it.
Avoid Rewards 
At least at first. There’s a time and place for rewards and allowances, but that being responsible isn’t it. Don’t assume a reward system has to be in place for your child to learn responsibility, kids respond just as well to praise, spending time with you and feeling the boost in their self-confidence. Provide Structure and Routine 
Kids thrive on order. Instead of offering rewards to get them to meet responsibilities, set up a morning routine with a positive end result. Your son must brush his teeth, eat breakfast and get dressed before watching TV. (Notice TV is not being offered as a reward — it’s just the result of finishing the routine.) And he should be able to complete the routine in any order that works for him. 
A younger child may not fully realize these tasks are his responsibilities, but allowing him to create a healthy structure will give him the tools to one day develop strategies for getting homework done without you nagging (too much!)