Think your relationship is solid? Think again.
Most relationships don’t crumble because of a single, dramatic blowout. Nope. It’s usually the tiny, unnoticed toxic relationship habits—the ones we barely see happening—that quietly eat away at emotional intimacy.
It’s the silent treatment during arguments. The unspoken resentment that stacks up over time. The sarcastic comment you didn’t think twice about. The forgotten “I love you.” The assumption that your partner should just know what you need without saying it.
Sound familiar?
Here’s the good news: These common relationship mistakes aren’t just widespread—they’re fixable. Let’s dive into the 10 signs of a toxic relationship (don’t worry, we’ve all been guilty of at least a few) and, more importantly, how to fix them fast.
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Avoiding Conflict Instead of Resolving It
Ever had an argument that just… fizzled out because neither of you wanted to deal with it anymore? Maybe you told yourself, “It’s not worth it. Let’s just drop it.”
Spoiler alert: It’s worth it.
Avoiding conflict doesn’t make problems disappear. It just buries them, where they fester and quietly build resentment. It’s like sweeping dirt under a rug—eventually, you’ll trip over it.
How to Fix It:
- Flip the script: Conflict in relationships isn’t bad. It’s actually an opportunity to better understand your partner.
- Get curious instead of defensive: Ask questions like, “Why does this matter so much to you?”
- Schedule a weekly relationship check-in to tackle small issues before they become big ones.
Ready to deepen your connection? Check out the 4 C’s of Connection for practical tools to improve communication in relationships.
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Expecting Your Partner to Be Your Everything
Your partner: Best friend. Therapist. Adventure buddy. Emotional rock. Lover. Life planner.
Sounds dreamy, right? Wrong.
Expecting one person to fulfill all your emotional needs is… well, impossible. It’s like asking a single plant to turn your backyard into a forest.
How to Fix It:
- Build a support system: Strong relationships with friends, family, or even a therapist help balance your emotional well-being.
- Ask yourself: “Am I feeling disconnected from my partner, or am I neglecting my own needs?”
- Pursue self-care and personal growth—it makes you a better partner.
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Keeping Score
Relationships aren’t a competition, but keeping score makes it feel like one.
- “I cleaned the kitchen three times this week. What have you done?”
- “I planned the last two dates. Your turn.”
When relationship resentment turns into a tally sheet, no one wins.
How to Fix It:
- Shift your mindset from “What am I getting?” to “How am I contributing?”
- If you feel unappreciated, communicate openly—don’t let resentment grow.
- Express gratitude in relationships: A simple “Thanks for making coffee this morning” goes a long way.
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Assuming Your Partner Should Just Know
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, “If they really loved me, they’d just know what I need.”
Yeah, me too. But here’s the thing: Love isn’t about mind-reading. It’s about clear communication.
How to Fix It:
- Speak up: If you need something, say it out loud. No hints. No guessing games.
- Stop testing your partner: Those little “if-they-really-loved-me” traps only create frustration.
- Remind yourself: Asking for what you need isn’t needy. It’s healthy communication.
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Letting Stress Take Over
We’ve all been there: You have a rough day at work, and before you know it, you’re snapping at your partner for something totally unrelated.
Stress in relationships is sneaky—it spills into your connection if you’re not careful.
How to Fix It:
- Pause before you react: Take a walk, listen to music, or do something to decompress.
- When your partner’s stressed, ask: “Do you want advice, or do you just need me to listen?”
- Prioritize fun in your relationship: Even in tough times, moments of joy keep your bond alive.
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Prioritizing Being Right Over Being Happy
Ever find yourself mid-argument, determined to win at all costs?
Here’s a hard truth: Being “right” won’t save your relationship. But being understanding will.
How to Fix It:
- Ask yourself: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to feel connected?”
- When things get heated, pause and say, “I love you. Let’s figure this out together.”
- Focus on the emotions behind the issue, not just the issue itself.
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Emotional Withdrawal & Stonewalling
Stonewalling in relationships (a.k.a. shutting down during conflict) isn’t about being cold—it’s often a sign of emotional overwhelm.
But when one partner withdraws, the other often feels abandoned, creating a cycle of disconnection.
How to Fix It:
- Create emotional safety: Say, “I see you need space. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”
- Reconnect through small gestures: Eye contact, physical touch, or a simple smile.
- Learn how your partner processes stress and respect their needs.
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Taking Each Other for Granted
The little things—saying thank you, showing appreciation, and being affectionate—matter more than we realize.
How to Fix It:
- Make daily deposits into your relationship bank: A text, a compliment, or a hug.
- Ask each other: “What’s one small thing I can do this week to make you feel loved?”
- Celebrate your partner—not just for what they do, but for who they are.
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Ignoring Love Languages & Attachment Styles
Ever feel like your efforts aren’t landing the way you expect? Love languages and attachment styles could be the missing link.
How to Fix It:
- Learn your partner’s love language: Is it quality time? Acts of service? Physical touch?
- Speak their language—even if it doesn’t come naturally.
- Understand your attachment style and its impact on how you connect with your partner.
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Waiting Too Long to Work on Your Relationship
Most couples wait until they’re on the verge of breaking up before seeking help.
How to Fix It:
- Don’t wait for a crisis: Regularly check in about what’s working and what’s not.
- Get relationship support early: Whether it’s reading a book, attending a workshop, or trying couples therapy, act before things spiral.
- Invest in your relationship: Small efforts today prevent big problems tomorrow.
Need help getting started? Learn how to strengthen your bond with Couples Therapy.
Choose Love Every Day
If you’ve recognized yourself in any of these mistakes, don’t panic. You’re not alone—and it’s never too late to turn things around.
The truth is, healthy relationships don’t happen by accident. They require awareness, intention, and small, consistent efforts.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to figure it out on your own.
If you’re tired of feeling stuck in the same patterns, our expert relationship coaching can help you:
- Break free from unhealthy cycles before they create lasting damage.
- Improve communication so you and your partner feel truly heard and understood.
- Strengthen emotional intimacy and bring back the connection you once had.
Take Action Today:
Download our FREE Secure Love Guide to start making meaningful changes right away.
Get expert guidance tailored to your relationship.
Love doesn’t thrive on autopilot—it grows when you nurture it. Let’s make sure your relationship gets the care it deserves.
Click here to book your session now. Your future self (and your relationship) will thank you.
